Is therapy for you? Here’s what to expect and how it can help
Wondering if therapy can help? Learn how a supportive, professional counselling relationship can help you feel heard, gain new perspectives, and make lasting changes in your life.
Find out what to expect and how to get started today.
Counselling works on the premise that two heads are better than one! Here, I reveal more about the important, collaborative relationship we will build with each other. By the end of this post you’ll know much more about what to expect from counselling in general and when working with me.
Working together
I will be aiming to build a safe, trusting relationship with you so that you feel able to share your difficulties and your emotional and sometimes quite personal “stuff” in a safe place with a safe person. The focus is on us working together to help you. Counselling is not about giving advice, I won’t be sitting there telling you what you should do, but I will be helping you feel more able to work out what you want.
What does the counsellor do?
You come along and you share the difficulties that you are experiencing, and I listen. I try to understand how you’re feeling. I reflect back to you what I hear to show that I’m understanding you, or I ask a question to more fully understand you. I will accept you as you are, value your experiences and respect what you tell me.
I may challenge your thoughts or may provide a different perspective about what you’re telling me. Sometimes we all get stuck in rigid ways of thinking, particularly if we've held on to things for our whole lives without ever having shared them or ever hearing an external view on them.
This is often what happens with new clients who decide to come to counselling. They may never have thought about sharing a particular issue before, perhaps it feels very risky and unsafe, so the same story and the same thoughts go around in their heads. One really revolutionary part of counselling is that someone else who is objective and unconnected to you and the people around you can listen with a fresh ear and really try to understand what you’ve been going through.
I feel so nervous!
If you’re new to counselling, it’s totally understandable to be nervous. I’m hoping this post eases your nerves a little, but it’s ok and normal to feel nervous. I have been there, I understand the worry. I won’t force you to reveal everything ever, especially not straight away! It's not a prodding type of approach and I want you to feel in control of what you share – it has to be at your pace when you are ready. I am there for you at the same time each week and hopefully you can learn to depend upon that – to rely on it and to trust in our relationship. In time, this will help you open up a bit more. Together we’ll work out what's going on for you. I will be focusing on building our relationship, so it feels safe for you to share and work through things with me.
How will I know it’s going well?
Firstly, you’ll feel listened to, respected and accepted. You might begin to think about some things a little differently, from a fresh perspective. You might question things about your ‘normal’ - just because something ‘is’, doesn’t mean it is right for you or always has to be that way. Ultimately, you’ll hopefully start to think about small changes you’d like to make or new things to try - even just contemplating change is an achievement. It is very easy for us to get stuck, feeling trapped in our lives and not realising there are other ways of living. Recognising that can be a massive step. Read more here.
So, we look at the things that could be different – doing more of the things you enjoy, seeing less of the people that drain you, finding more time for yourself, identifying and prioritising your own needs and wants.
It might not feel very easy at first, it can be difficult to face some things. I will be with you through it.
Life doesn't have to be a struggle - how could you choose to be different? Thinking in a new way and getting used to spotting opportunities for change can be a massive mountain for most clients when they're so used to thinking and living in certain ways. But it is possible and I see it in my clients…
What will my friends/family think?
Although it’s getting much better, there is still unfortunately a stigma attached to mental health and seeking psychological help. What might people think of you if you come to a counselling session? Does it matter? Taking a brave decision like going to counselling tells the naysayers that you are not weak, and that you are choosing to work towards a happier, more fulfilling life.
Think about it, what’s the alternative? How long can you struggle on with those feelings that bring you down. We all face challenges in our lives and sometimes we need help with them. It can certainly be difficult at times, but we are worth putting in the work for. Despite what you think and despite what others actually say out loud, there will be those that respect your decision and consider you brave for addressing difficulties.
New to therapy?
If you're thinking about starting therapy, it's completely natural to have questions. You might be wondering what happens in a first session, whether therapy is right for you, or simply what to expect.
I've put together a short guide to help answer some of the questions people often ask before they begin. I hope it helps you feel a little more informed and reassured as you consider your next step.
If you'd like to find out whether we're a good fit, I'd be happy to answer any questions and help you decide whether therapy with me feels right for you.