“I don’t want to go to my next session!”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by difficult emotions in your counselling sessions, it can be understandable to not want to come.
However, having the courage to share this with your counsellor can make all the difference to your perseverance and progress.
It’s too much
I’m sure those of us who have had counselling before have thought “I really don’t want to go to my next session” – I have certainly felt that way!
The previous session might have felt difficult and uncomfortable and very overwhelming, emotionally. You might have held back from saying something that could have been said. You may be feeling so rubbish about yourself that all you want to do is be on your own and not talk to anyone. You may feel like you’re failing or not doing therapy ‘right’.
I get it.
BUT… those are the times that we need to go to that counselling session. Period.
Let your counsellor in on it!
Counselling doesn’t require you to put on a brave face and mask your real feelings. All counsellors will ensure you know this. Tell your counsellor why you’re struggling with a particular issue – whether it’s a comment they’ve made to you, or a feeling you’re not sure about sharing, or the fact that you feel you can’t open up and be yourself.
Your counsellor will want to know and it’s much easier when you’re both on the same page. Usually there is much to learn together, and you can be guided by your counsellor.
I ‘see’ my clients. I come to understand their vulnerabilities. I know from my own experience just how hard it can be to confront difficult experiences and emotions. I have huge respect for my clients for keeping going.
I know there are struggles along the way but being up front with your counsellor can really help. Counsellors accept their clients for all that they are (or are not!), non-judgementally. We value our clients.
Keep showing up for yourself…
It is a hard realisation that your counsellor cannot take responsibility for you - although I think it’s fair and realistic to say that we partly do so at the beginning of therapy and during crises. However, as I’ve said before, we certainly cannot wave a magic wand, and it may feel like a pressure that you have to take responsibility for yourself. But when you keep persevering and attending your sessions, as so many of my clients do (even when it’s really hard!), it is possible.
There will come a point where you will take the mantle. You will find yourself thinking/talking to yourself in the way that you and your counsellor speak in sessions. You will be taking responsibility for your wellbeing. We will start to see where progress is happening and you will start to understand that you can really feel better, behave differently, and make changes.
Keep going!