“Small steps” to self-worth
Working towards goals? Want success in life? Start with you!
Pay attention to how you think about goals and success and start small to feel your sense of self-worth grow.
What do you expect of yourself?
I’ve found myself saying “small steps” to clients a lot lately. It’s nothing too remarkable, and certainly nothing new, but it’s surprising how much we tend to expect of ourselves. This can be found in many different areas – standards we live by, moral codes, achievements, academia, catching up with chores, financial success, owning a house, losing weight etc., etc.
We don’t tend to treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion that we apply to others. For some reason, we think we are different and must be able to do more and that if we don’t, we’re failing or not getting it right or not being good enough.
So much of our worth can be tied up in where we feel we’re at in life. But the questions that should perhaps come first are, what do you want from life? What is important to you in life? How do you measure your success in life?
Never compare
Start with you! If we’re not asking these important questions of ourselves first, we can get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. But let’s not forget that what we value as important or successful in life is going to be different to what is valued by who we’re comparing ourselves with. Unfortunately, although futile, comparing ourselves to others is woven into the fabric of society, capitalism and materialism.
Looking to others can leave us feeling lacking, or not as good as; it provides the potential for us to look at our lives negatively, rather than focusing on our achievements and successes.
Break it down…
We can feel that we’re not achieving anything when our expectation is set too high. We forget to break it down into small steps! Small steps! With each small step we can feel that we are achieving something, which provides the motivation to continue in that direction.
Slowly, our self-worth returns – we see that we can do things for ourselves, we are worth the effort, and that we can look after ourselves. If the step is too big (the aim too ambitious, or the goal too general, for example), we may not reach it and we end up feeling as though we’re failing. This isn’t to say we can’t dream big and have hope, but being realistic helps to keep us on track. Our belief that we can cope with and overcome any setbacks or issues that may arise will also help to keep us on track.
Ask yourself the following:
What do you want? Don’t let what you expect of yourself be shaped by what you see others achieving – it’s okay to do things your way, however unconventional.
How would you like your success in life to be measured? Use that measure! What else can you put in place to help you get there?
Keep an eye on your expectations – are they too high? Are they realistic?
How can you break your expectations down into small steps to start enjoying the feelings of achievement, progress, self-care and personal development sooner?
‘Little wins’
Start enjoying the ‘little wins’. With each small step achieved, you will be showing yourself that you can do it and your self-worth will blossom. Believe in yourself and in your capabilities.
Whilst it can feel a massive step to start counselling, taking the first small step could be less overwhelming. Take your first small step today and contact me to ask any questions you may have. It’s just a message! Click the button below.