Not feeling your usual self?
Something feeling ‘off’? Normal coping techniques not working?
Read on to learn more about the signs that may mean you’re struggling and how to manage your mental health in a more stable way.
Bad days
We all have off days every now and then. Sometimes things don’t seem to go right, or we are reminded of something upsetting. All to be expected. Whilst momentarily or temporarily difficult, we can recover and feel like our normal selves again pretty soon. It is natural to expect life to throw up some things that challenge us and for some of our days to be affected by them. Over time we learn ways of coping with different challenges and more difficult days.
But sometimes, feeling upset or not our normal selves can last longer, and we might feel unsure about what’s going on. We might have tried our normal coping techniques and notice the feeling isn’t shifting. This can be unsettling and may kick-start other difficult feelings, such as depression, anxiety, self-doubt, or a general sense of being ‘stuck’.
Sure-fire signs that your mental wellbeing is being affected:
You may stop looking after yourself - your sleep routine, eating habits, exercise/hobbies may all take a hit
You may feel overwhelmed by small things or out of control
You may feel like your emotions are ‘all over the place’
You may withdraw from social contact
You may be reluctant to go to work or do things that usually bring you enjoyment
You might feel hopeless, sad, anxious or become more tearful more often/more easily
You may start to neglect your personal appearance/hygiene
You may use substances to help you cope
You might take part in impulsive, dangerous, illegal thrill-seeking behaviours
Remember, it’s all about a change from the norm. For instance, let’s think about withdrawing from social contact - if you are usually quiet and spend a lot of time in your own company, that isn’t necessarily a sign that you are struggling. But, if you’re usually sociable and outgoing and find yourself withdrawing, that change is worth investigating and could mean that something is bothering you and affecting your day-to-day life.
Triggers?
It is possible that a lot of different factors contribute to these changes so the trigger may not appear obvious. But it’s essential to work out what the trigger is. Without noticing the causes, how can you look after yourself better in future?
This is where counselling can be useful; we have someone alongside us to help us figure out what’s going on. If you’re not yet sure about what is causing you to feel differently, don’t worry about it too much, it’s way more important to notice how you’re feeling and to put things in place to help yourself in the moment. As you become more aware of when you’re feeling differently, the trigger may become more apparent.
Emotional check-in
Unless we are aware of how we’re feeling, emotionally and physically, we cannot help ourselves. Pushing ahead through difficult feelings may be helpful in the very short term, but things begin to build up under the surface. Thoughts like, “I haven’t got time to think about how I am”, or, “I can’t stop [working/looking after x/studying]” are signs of denial and a repression of how you really are. Maybe you keep your life super busy so you can’t think about how you are. It might be useful to read through my blog called ‘put a lid on it'!’ at this point.
So, self-awareness is key. I say so often, “you can’t do anything about something you don’t know!” Take time to have a regular check-in with yourself. Every evening before you go to sleep, or every morning, or when you’re walking the dog or making the dinner… It doesn’t matter when, but initially daily may be best to get you into the habit.
Asking yourself how you really are is important. Is there anything going on that has left you unsettled, confused, upset, or frustrated? What was it about that situation that bothered you? Do you need to implement a boundary? Do you need to have a conversation with someone about how you’re feeling? Getting more in tune with your emotions allows you to take better care of yourself and of what’s going on in your life, rather than glossing over any difficulties.
Practice self-awareness and seek support when you need it
It’s no mystery - things happen in life that are difficult. These things can affect how we feel and how we think.
Practice using emotional check-ins to help you look out for the signs and explore any changes in how you’re feeling, thinking or behaving. Could it be helpful to speak to someone to help you figure out what’s going on and to help you get back on track?